HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH*aneurysm*
Oh my God! This is by far and away the most pathetic, transparent self-insertion "I thank Johny Dep is COOL!!!!!11 n HOTT!!!!!!1!!" fiction I have come across YET!

By tha left frontal lobe o' the Great Sky Demon!!!"

You know, there really is nothing more entertaining than reading an author's attempt to write out new dialogue for Jack. Most of them give up and just reuse the movie script- you gotta' hand it to the ones who don't however- they just do it, and they do it shitty.

Okay, if some weirdo appeared in my room, raving about being drunk, I think I'd be freaking out and either calling the police or hitting him repeatedly with a baseball bat. Possibly both.

A-men. When it comes to time-portal-in-the-middle-of-my-bedroom men popping into existence from thin air, I'm more of a "beat senseless and ask questions later" type person. I'd definitely make damn sure he was incapacitated beyond any thought of moving (or having children) before I'd think to approach him and talk to him.

Love the description of Jack. Of course, any four-year-old could write that by just looking at the effing poster for the movie!

So, by logical reasoning, you were sent here, to get me and take me back to the past with you...does that make sense?

Ummm...no? But then again stupid, moronic, vapid, pointless convenient plot points are such a tremendous strain on widdle author's minds.

*sporksporkspork*