A Commodore Norrington Sue! *dun dun duuuuuuuun*
... It begins.

TITLE: The Pirate's Return
AUTHOR: Hermione-Malfoy (Are you cringing yet? She also seems to have an OC fic with Colonel Tavington from The Patriot. While I must compliment her on good taste, that is just NOT someone you write a love interest for. x_x)

NAME(S): Hannah Hope Schuyler (I cannot even begin to pronounce Schuyler), or Hope Hanna Schuyler, or something. I don't know. She switches off.
AFFILIATION: British nobility
HAIR COLOR: not mentioned
EYE COLOR: not mentioned
SPECIAL POSESSIONS: none

HISTORY: Is the daughter of a Portugese (or Spanish - the author apparently hasn't decided yet) woman and a British man. Her mother dies, and her father decides to go to the Caribbean. They go from Spain to Britain, and there they prepare for the journey to America and then the Caribbean.

CONNECTIONS TO CHARACTERS: While in Britain, her father encourages her to meet with Norrington (who is, for whatever reason, in Britain). Outwardly, she wants nothing to do with him. Norrington is, of course, smitten with her.

NOTES: I found this story quite a while ago, and thought it had potential to not be so bad. I sent the author a (fairly long) critique of her writing and character, and urged her to continue. She did continue, but apparently my critique was ignored. The story, sadly, does not get better. It goes in quite the opposite direction.

SAMPLE OF THE STORY:



Oh, the angst! The injustice of it all!

“ Do you think I care, Papa? I don’t look for their pity, I don’t look for their friendship. I don’t care to hear their laughs and snickers as I pass by. You hide your pain by surrounding yourself with people, and for only a moment that works, doesn’t it, Papa? It never completely destroys the pain you feel over the loss of Mama. I know when you wake at night, you hope to see her by your side, you want to feel her in your arms. That is only temporary happiness, Papa. I shy away to hide my pain. I prefer to mourn in silence.” His daughter replied, choking out the words she uttered. He did not reply for a moment, thinking of a response.

“ I understand now.” Her father murmured, glancing down at his daughter. “ I know you want to be alone. You want to mourn your mother without people constantly watching you. But I pose a question to you, daughter, when will the mourning end? When will you stop?”

“ I don’t know, Papa. I only know I am not ready.” She answered as she stood to retrieve the book she had thrown.

“ You know why you mourn constantly? Because you don’t allow yourself a moment to forget your mother! You allow her fears to overshadow your own happiness! Please, go. You must at least meet the Commodore who will be taking you to the Caribbean. If you will not go to enjoy yourself, at least go to meet him. I promise, you will be allowed to leave directly afterwards.” Hope’s eyes immediately shot towards her father, a strange look on her face.

“ You try to mix business with pleasure, Papa. You hope that by my meeting the Commodore at the party, I will be persuaded to stay with you there. Then tell me, why cannot I meet him later today?” Hope answered suspiciously.

“ Regretably, the Commodore will not be available at any other time than tonight. He must prepare the ships for the voyage.” Her father answered, barely hiding a smile that rose to his face.

“ I’m sure that since you are so good at ‘persuading’, you can convince him to meet me at some other point in time, when I am not previously engaged.” Hope said as she returned her book to the shelf.

“ We will not come to any sort of agreement.” he answered angrilly. “ You are nothing but a spoiled child who has been allowed to do as she pleases for months! You will not use mourning as an exuse to shelter yourself from people. What other sort of ' previous engagements' do you have? You have done nothing for months!” Her father scoffed, as he turned away from his daughter in disgust.

“ I will not go to see him at that gathering. Those 'parties' are nothing but an exuse to comment on each other and to make proper attachments. I will have no part in that shallow behavior. I will not have you marry me off to some fool with a fortune while you marry a mindless young woman to produce heirs. ” Hope answered defiantly. She picked up a figurine, tracing the lines of it's face with her fingers. Her father's emotion quickly flew from frustration to anger. He tried in vain to mask it with calmness.





Gasp! The Sue's presecence makes Norrington ill!


" It is a pleasure to meet you Commodore." Hope said hurriedly, trying to end the meeting quickly. " Come, sit with me. And pray, tell me why you've come at this hour to my home." Hope answered. The Commodore turned, a surprised expression on his handsome features. " Is anything wrong, Commodore?" She said, noticing his sudden change of emotion.

" Nothing, Miss Schuyler." Norrington answered. " You just sounded like someone I know. I became surprised for a moment." he answered, making his way towards the couch. He took off his sword, laying it on a desk he found not far from there.

" What is the name of your ship, Commodore?" Hope asked, trying her best to hide her nervousness. Norrington did not apparently notice, his mind seemingly constant on other things. " The name of your ship, Commodore?" Hope said again, leaning in towards him, and leaning down, to peer into his eyes. " Do you need something to eat? You don't look well."

" I'm fine, miss." He answered, smiling. " I'm only tired." he answered. Hope looked at him, a confused expression on her face. " Would you like to stay here tonight, sir? I will have your things brought to you tomorrow. Perhaps now is not the time for us to talk." Norrington turned and looked at her, a smile on his face.

" I have already rented some rooms by the pier. Thank you for offering." He answered. Hope glanced at him, a worried expression on her face.



It's not terrible, but it's not that good, either. Overall it's just ... really boring.