Pirates of The Caribbean Mary Sues ([info]piratesues) wrote,
@ 2003-08-17 15:56:00
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Wooooo boy.
TITLE: Calypso
AUTHOR: IceCoatedHeart

NAME(S): Penelope Black
AFFILIATION: pirate
HAIR COLOR: "truffle colored hair"
EYE COLOR: "lapis lazuli eyes"
SPECIAL POSESSIONS: Some necklace Jack is looking for. Her fingernails can draw blood, for some reason.

HISTORY: Is .. a pirate. Yay?

CONNECTIONS TO CHARACTERS Jack is looking for three legendary pearls, and Penelope has one of them. He and Will (who is playing the side-kick game) get onto her ship and look around for it, but she wakes up and waives a sword around, and so they end up kidnapping her. You know, because that's SO much easier than just killing her and taking her necklace.

NOTES: Besides Miss Black here, there is a secondary Sue named Lainey, who is Jack's little sister. She and Will apparently have a future.

SAMPLE OF THE STORY:



Over-done, flowery descriptions, ahoy!

The sun was just rising over the water when Penelope Black looked out of her small window upon the glittering blue topaz water that gleamed silver under the bright sun. How she longed she could feel the warmth of the water against her skin. The water was choppy that day and tossed her small ship around like a toy in a child's bath, however she didn't rush out of bed, as she trusted her crew.

So, the water is blue, but silver. It's sunny out, and yet, they're caught in a storm. Uhm... riiiight.

As she lay in her bed, she could hear Joshua McAllister stomping around above her and she smiled at the slightly rotted wooden ceiling. Her truffle colored hair was spread over the stiff pillow, she constantly considered cutting it as short as a boys for connivance, but she loved the way the salty wind whipped through it when she let the long tumbling masses down when a storm was coming in.

She tossed uncomfortably in the bed and moaned slightly when the boat gave one particularly ornery heave. She rolled over and set her lapis lazuli eyes on the walls as it creaked against the pressure of the sea.


Lapis lazuli is a gemstone that comes in pale shades of blue, violet, or blue-green. How convenient, she doesn't have to keep a single eye color.





Just take the friggin' necklace, already!

"Well Ms. Black I'll be takin that necklace from you, or I can take it and make you walk the plank" He walked circles around her as she stood with her arms crossed across her chest. "We don't make ladies walk the plank!" Will said to Jack, he spun around on him. "She's a pirate! The bloody pirate will walk the bloody plank whether woman or not!" He pushed out frustrated getting close to Will. "Well you can't have it either way" She spoke calmly they both turned and looked at her.

Hello. Pirate? Sword? Pillage, murder, rape? Any of these ringing a bell? No pirate - not even one with morals - is going to wait until they have PERMISSION to take someone's jewelry.

Jack skimmed a finger across her chest and hooked the silver chain with a rough finger. "Where did you happen to come by this?" He asked and held Penelope's level stare before she gave in and looked down to where Jack's finger still lay against her bronzed flesh. "It was a gift from my great grandfather" She said and raised an eyebrow. "And think what you wish but no amount of money or gold you could offer me would make me give this to you"

Jack shrugged a shoulder. "I would be disappointed if I had heard anything different, but in said case, that means that you will have to stay on this ship, with me and my matey here," He glanced over his shoulder then leaned closer to Penelope. "He's really a mangy puppy, found him wandering Crown Royale's streets, it was very sad" As if to punctuate it, Will threw a small empty wooden barrel at Jack's head and missed by inches.


Crown Royale? He found Will swimming in a big puddle of liquor?





*massively OOC Will warning siren goes off*

"You're going to burn" She said lazily and rubbed her hands over his bare shoulders. His shoulders stiffened. He turned to face her and looked down into her pretty gold eyes. "Thank you," He murmured and offered Lainey a pleasant smile and Lainey observed happily that the smile made his eyes lighten to the color of burnished coins. "Hey," Lainey said softly as she stared up into his eyes. "You're right eye is a little more brown the your left one"

Will laughed and motioned for Lainey to come stand by him on the helm. "How far does the ocean stretch Will?" She asked as she leaned against him companionably as she stared out at the dark cerulean blue water. "As far as you want it to, or that's what my father has always told me" Lainey looked up at him and took in his features against the setting sun which set his sun-glazed skin aglow. 'God he's cute' Lainey thought and smiled brightly when he glanced down at her.

"So how did someone like you become a pirate? Because let me tell you, besides Anamaria we have never had someone like you on the ship before" She laughed and Will adored the way her nose wrinkled slightly when she laughed. "By someone like me do you mean a woman?" When Jack looked down at the wooden planks guiltily Lainey only laughed harder.

"Well what actually started my piracy is Jack. See I had no idea that Jack had actually become the pirate of the infamous Black Pearl until the whole icky business about a year ago. I had told everyone that I was going out to search for gold and such, but what I was really searching for was him" She pointed vaguely over to the cabins. "Gibbs?" Will asked with confusion and Lainey could only stare at him until she realized that he thought she was talking about Mr.Gibbs who was currently dozing upright on the side of Jack's cabin.

"No," She said with a fleeting laugh. "Jack," She clarified and Will smiled sheepishly. "I love my brother William and make no mistake about that, and when he left it was like he took a part of me with him, what's ironic about it all was Jack had said he would be right back, I haven't seen him for almost ten years" She sighed and when she looked up at Will, he was looking at her in such a way that her stomach did a quick flip and tightened uncontrollably.



(28 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]klandagi
2003-08-17 11:43 pm UTC (link)
Crown Royale? He found Will swimming in a big puddle of liquor?


ROFL!! Oh that made my day XD!

(Reply to this)


[info]bordergold
2003-08-17 11:50 pm UTC (link)
The water was choppy that day and tossed her small ship around like a toy in a child's bath, however she didn't rush out of bed, as she trusted her crew.

That is like . . . PIRATE RAPE. CAPTAINS ALWAYS WORK THE HARDEST. THEY DO NOT BECOME CAPTAINS BY SLEEPING. Grrrrr.

Er. Sorry about the temper tantrum. But that just REALLY bothered me.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

let's try that again
[info]phantasmrose
2003-08-18 12:03 am UTC (link)
I know! >_<

I threw a fit watching PotC the first time, because in the begining of the movie, Norrington says to go wake the captain up because they found the burning wreckage of the ship Will was on ... and I was like, what the hell? They're sailing in mostly-uncharted waters in low-visability weather and THE CAPTAIN IS ASLEEP? Jebus, No wonder Norrington is so particular about his job, he's been doing it all since he was a lieutenant. o_O

Or the film-makers really, really need to be kicked in the head, but I'd rather boost my James fan-ego.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: let's try that again
[info]thebitingfaery
2003-08-18 12:23 am UTC (link)
Um...Captains can do whatever they will. They often spend time in their cabins and they certainly get more sleep than officers.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: let's try that again
[info]phantasmrose
2003-08-18 12:35 am UTC (link)
Every time I've been sailing, if there's any kind of odd weather, the captain is always up and making sure everything is running alright. It's a given they don't take part in the general tasks of keeping the boat afloat ~ but responsible captains do try to make sure they've got a good idea of what's going on in their ship at all times.

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Re: let's try that again
[info]thebitingfaery
2003-08-18 01:17 am UTC (link)
Perhaps the fog was going on for awhile and so he absolutely had to go to sleep?

My dad sails on a period tall-ship according to period rules and regulations, and the captain can pretty much sleep whenever he wants. He'll give initial orders, but after that his obligation is finished.

He got to be captain after years of hard work. So all he really has to do is give orders.

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Re: let's try that again
[info]phantasmrose
2003-08-18 01:31 am UTC (link)
Perhaps the fog was going on for awhile and so he absolutely had to go to sleep?

It's possible - but that area was known as heavily trafficed by pirates, and that kind of weather would be perfect for an ambush. I'd think the captain might be up and about incase something happened.

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Re: let's try that again
[info]ex_shinken853
2003-08-18 02:53 am UTC (link)
Actually, the captains could do whatever the hell the felt like, as um, other person said. There's some saying that "the captain is God, once a ship is at sea" or some such. So yeah. They give orders, and then the lieutenants are generally responsible for deciding how the orders are carried out, etc. etc. etc.

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Re: let's try that again
[info]phantasmrose
2003-08-18 02:55 am UTC (link)
Perhaps I'm just around really involved captains. o_o;

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: let's try that again
[info]ex_shinken853
2003-08-18 03:01 am UTC (link)
It does depend on the captain, so that's probably it.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Re: let's try that again
[info]bordergold
2003-08-18 04:25 am UTC (link)
lol! *stabs at stupid historically inaccurate people*

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]thebitingfaery
2003-08-18 12:20 am UTC (link)
Why does Jack kinda talk like Barbossa?

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[info]polaris_starz
2003-09-01 08:31 pm UTC (link)
I <3 your icon.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]akusoft
2003-08-18 01:37 am UTC (link)
And think what you wish but no amount of money or gold you could offer me would make me give this to you"

... I'm confused, were they pirates or traders looking for a good deal?

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[info]ex_shinken853
2003-08-18 02:49 am UTC (link)
Topaz=gold. NOT BLUE. AUGH. And she wants to cut her hair for connivance? So, is her hair involved in a conspiracy of some kind, or what? XD

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[info]mercurialmind
2003-08-18 03:22 am UTC (link)
Well... there IS a kind of blue topaz, actually. But she should have specified.

"Connivance" threw me for a "What the fuck?!!!!!" as well.

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[info]ex_shinken853
2003-08-18 03:35 am UTC (link)
Come to think of it, topaz comes in a myriad of colours - pink, blue, yellow, probably purple and maybe green. But I guess I think of the yellow kind first, since that's usually what writers refer to?

It's not like "convenience" is that hard to spell, after all.

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[info]zarla
2003-08-18 09:08 pm UTC (link)
I have to ask...what color IS a truffle? Grey-brown? Black?

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[info]southernwinds
2003-08-19 04:30 am UTC (link)
Don't you know? It all depends on the Mary-Sue's mood, because her truffle hair will change colors in the water that also changes colors that reflects her eyes, which (surprise, surprise!) *also* change colors.
*grinz* Consistancy is their middle name. Mary-Consistancy-Sue.

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(Anonymous)
2007-04-17 01:31 pm UTC (link)
Depends. Are we talking fungus?

If yes, then brown or gray-ish.

Jebus, this MS is... special. Her hair is not cut despite connivance. Is that like a punishment for engaging in a conspiracy? Does that mean her hair is a separate, sentient entity? Why are her eyes apparently detachable stones of indeterminate blue-green color which can be put on walls when most people have eyeballs? Why does other chick have gold eyes? Is there some kind of stigma associated with having brown or black eyes like most of the rest of the world that I'm not yet aware of? Why is the water having some kind of identity crisis and being blue and silver, and really choppy when the sun's shining? I mean, it's possible, but very unlikely.

Talk about oxymorons!

Will swimming in a huge puddle of liquor. Cuuute.

One whole 'icky business', if you ask me.

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[info]zarla
2007-04-21 07:26 pm UTC (link)
THREE YEAR DEAD THREAD RESURRECTION, GO!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

mmm... truffles
(Anonymous)
2003-08-19 10:08 pm UTC (link)
Maybe her hair is like mint flavored Truffles. A dark brown with random bright green parts, very attractive. *snort*
-Alise

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Re: mmm... truffles
[info]collie_wing
2003-08-20 03:02 am UTC (link)
STOPPIT I'm hungry. Grr.

The only good truffles are rum truffles, and they're threaded with white. And no selfrespecting sue (are there any of those??!) would have white threaded in her hair unless it was in OMG the X-men verse and they were liek Rogue's sistah or sum thing lolerz.

See? SEE??! See what truffle deprivation has done to me? Where's that big ass bag of rum truffles Katy and I got into the other day? Mmmmmm food.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]poo_head
2003-08-29 08:19 am UTC (link)
"You're right eye is a little more brown the your left one"

This reminds me very much of that line Julia Stiles says to Heath Ledger in 10 Things, right before she pukes on his shoes. Meanwhile, I'm about to puke because people STILL HAVEN'T learned the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. And NEVER WILL.

Hrh.

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[info]lusciousliips
2003-09-23 07:11 am UTC (link)
[[pukes with you]] lmao! I was thinking the same thing. Who the fuck goes around telling people that anyway? Unless they're drunk or seriously stoned.

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[info]poo_head
2003-09-23 12:52 pm UTC (link)
Or serious Sues!

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Good Lord have mercy!
[info]memlu
2004-01-04 02:31 am UTC (link)
What is with fangrrls' inability to use canon romance? It's as if Elizabeth - an exceptionally strong female character - has been wiped from Will's memory. He's not becoming Mamoru from Sailormoon is he? Good Lord!

"...until that whole icky business about a year ago..."

Ah. So, after a year, Will has forgotten all about Elizabeth, his Treasure, One True Love, and Romantic Subplot, all for Mary "the Hellbeast" Sue, and adopted an absurdly humorous form of speech.

The exposition is horrendous: "Well, as you know, Lainey Hellbeast, after the curse of the pirates was lifted by myself and Jack, we continued the act of piracy. Oddly, there seems to be a blank spot in my memory."

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(Anonymous)
2004-04-17 06:36 am UTC (link)
no, its blue with sliver glittering. ( i am not english so I don't exactly know how to say it ) so she didn't mistake in that. :O)

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